Only Grow Stronger
by penofjade
Summary: *KakaSaku LS Challenge - Stronger (Kelly Clarkson)* Sakura was always the weak one...but then life gave her a strength Kakashi had never seen in her before. He had to bring her to tears to see the heart hidden away from everyone.


**A/N:** This was written for the KakaSaku Livejournal Song Challenge. I was given the song "Stronger" by Kelly Clarkson. After listening to it several times, the line that really spoke to me was "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger/Stand a little taller." So that's where this came from. Please enjoy.

* * *

It was strange, this feeling. Her heart was still calmly beating, no significant change to show that she was emotionally responding to the scene before her. The portion of herself which had been trained as a shinobi was proud of that...but, at the same time, the little girl who still hid away in the memories of the past was making small sounds of distress. The woman she had become didn't know how to handle that child anymore. She was...unfamiliar now. So much had happened since that day when she'd heard Iruka-sensei call out her new teammates names.

Teammates...That thought brought her back to the moment and the body lying at her feet. Dark hair covering his handsome face, Sakura didn't need to check his body in order to say, "He's dead." Her chakra control had grown so much in the intervening years since his defection; she would never again be fooled by the 'near death' technique. There was simply something about the dead...She knew he was one of them. He'd been a little surprised by how potent those powers now were, even though they were still no match for his own.

Looking up, she met the anguished eyes of her best friend. The blue, normally so bright and carefree, had dulled during the minutes following that final attack. Now they were staring in hurt shock at the dead man lying at her feet. Swiftly pulling her cloak off and draping it over the body, she left it there and hurried towards the blond ninja.

At her touch on his cheek, his eyes twitched before swinging to meet her own. "He's dead, Naruto-kun. It's done."

At twenty, Naruto was one of the kindest people Sakura had ever known...and his eyes now welled up and a tear slid down his cheek, hitting her fingers. Here was something which _had_ changed, however. The twelve year old boy he had once been would have begun laughing awkwardly, surreptitiously attempting to wipe the wetness away. Now, though, he simply allowed the tears to come. What they were for, Sakura wasn't sure. Perhaps for the past...for the memories they had all made before the desire for revenge had driven Sasuke mad.

His voice soft, he gave her a shaky smile through his tears. "Are you alright, Sakura-chan?"

Smiling sadly in return, she glanced back towards the cloak-shrouded body. "I've been preparing myself for this, you know...He wasn't going to come back to us." She would cry later, she had no doubt. When the analytical was put away, the little girl would get the chance to sob and moan. Sakura didn't think she keep that from her. However, at the moment, she needed to be strong. Naruto, who had just killed one of his closest childhood friends, needed her to be strong. Kakashi, who was lying unconscious nearby, needed her to be strong. All of Konoha needed her to be strong. And so she would be. She would be what they needed...for now. Later, she would give into her own need. Later.

* * *

Four weeks had passed since Sasuke's final defeat. Konoha was much as it had always been. People milled around in the streets, going about their daily business. Shinobi came and went. Missions were completed. Life continued.

Sakura had asked Tsunade to allow her to come back to the hospital immediately. The older woman had looked about ready to argue, but, catching sight of something in her apprentice's eyes, she'd nodded instead. She later told Shizune, "If I'd forced her to take time off, she would have simply retreated into herself. She isn't going to grieve...not like Naruto. She can't." She hadn't elaborated any further, but she continued to herself, _She won't grieve until she's so exhausted there's nothing left but the emotion of it..._ She could understand that, all to well. Shinobi were trained to quietly store their emotions away, but that ability came with a heavy price. When it was time to mourn, many of them simply couldn't. Not until everything else was stripped away, including the years of training. She would give Sakura exactly what she wanted...and with that thought in mind, she reached for a sheet of paper and sent Shizune off with the hastily scrawled note. Standing as the other woman left, she stared out the bank of windows at the rooftops of her village. "And so it is...the wheel just keeps spinning."

* * *

Kakashi wasn't terribly surprised when he received a note, calling him to a meeting with the Hokage. The woman had said very little during the debriefing which had taken place a few days after their squad's return with Sasuke's body. Truth to tell, everyone had been a bit subdued, especially Naruto. He'd simply stood quietly next to Sakura, eyes attempting to stare through the floor at his feet.

The boy had grown incredibly over the last eight years, and not just in power. Maturity was something that couldn't be taught. It had to be cultivated...grown through the experiences which life placed upon each person. Some would crack under the strain, while others would allow themselves to be made stronger through it. Both of his remaining students had found incredible strength over the years.

What had surprised him most, in all honesty, was the reserve shown by the young woman who kept her eyes focused straight ahead through the entire meeting. Her heartbeat was calm, and he couldn't smell even the slightest trace of salt from the tears she'd surely cried. His own understanding of what had actually happened to bring about Sasuke's death came second hand from the others. He had tried to put a stop to his old student himself...and he had failed. He was simply lucky to be alive, Tsunade-sama had curtly informed him when Naruto had left the room after depositing him carefully on the hospital bed.

"Sakura is probably one of the best field medics we have, which is one of the only reasons you're awake and lucid," she'd continued, arms crossed over her ample chest. "What possessed you to attempt it, Kakashi? You knew he'd only gotten stronger! You couldn't defeat him _last time_, so what made you think it would work this time around?"

He met her eyes with his dark grey one. "I had to try, Hokage-sama." He didn't have a better reason. It was as simple as that. He'd been the boy's teacher, all those years ago. He'd invested a part of himself into the child which neither of the other two had been granted. A small portion of his mind whispered at him, as it had for years, "What if _you_ were the one who drove him mad? What if this is actually _all your fault_." He pushed the voice away. Again. It didn't matter now, anyway. The boy Sasuke had once been had died years before, and the man he'd become was now also gone.

Walking to Rin's grave before heading into town, he squatted down before her headstone and stared at it for awhile. Now there was another grave for him to visit...to pay penance at. Sasuke would be allowed burial with the rest of his family. Naruto had demanded it. Standing again after some time had passed, he walked all the way to the Hokage Tower. He didn't especially feel like hurrying...nothing Tsunade-sama could have to say to him would be good. Although, he wouldn't have minded a new mission. It might take his mind off things for a few days. Pausing in the middle of the street, the ceaseless flow of civilians and shinobi moving around him, he looked up at the sky with his one good eye. _And the sun just keeps shining_, was his only thought as he let out a sad chuckle before continuing on.

* * *

Sakura had just finished her third double shift of the week, which left her feeling numb and incredibly tired. All she wanted was to go home, take a shower, pray she didn't fall asleep standing up, and then crawl into bed. She wouldn't be due at the hospital the next day until four in the afternoon, so she was free to sleep in...although she probably wouldn't. Sleep wasn't as kind to her as it had once been. She needed to be so tired she wouldn't dream. If she dreamt, it was only ever of one thing...and that wasn't something she wanted to deal with yet.

Sakura knew it was unhealthy to keep from grieving like this. She knew that. She told herself quiet often that she was being stupid and only hurting herself. None of that mattered, though. As she stood under the shower spray, her hands braced on the tile wall, she said, out loud, what she knew to be true, "If I start...I don't know if I'll ever stop."

Twenty minutes later found her lying in bed, on her stomach, and facing the wall. She was so tired she almost didn't notice the knock on her door. Lifting her head an inch or two, she listened to see if whoever it was would be stupid enough to knock again. They weren't. However, that didn't mean they'd given up. Two minutes later, a voice cleared itself from the space in front of her window. Jerking around, she let a kunai fly. She'd learned that lesson well...if you can't feel the chakra, shoot first then apologize later, if you have to.

What met her tired and annoyed green eyes, however, wasn't quite what she'd been expecting. Kakashi stood there, casually twirling the weapon around on his finger. His eye was mocking.

"The world had better be ending, Kakashi," she dropped all honorifics, seeing that she was moving beyond annoyed, "because if it isn't, I'm not going to be very happy..." Most people would have turn tail and run from her, at that point. Not Kakashi, though.

His eye, now crinkling in the way it did when he smiled under his mask, kept spinning the blade as he said, "Get up. We're going to go train."

"Like hell we are, Kakashi! Get out of my house and beat up on Naruto if you're that bored!" Dropping back down onto her stomach, face once again to the wall, she set about ignoring him. She was being very immature, but she didn't care. He'd invaded her home, in the middle of the night, after she'd worked a double, to tell her they were going to go train. Like hell.

The kunai thudded into the wall a few inches above her prone figure. Moving slowly and deliberately, she sat up, her back still to the man who had just embedded one of her own kunai in her bedroom wall. Her left eye was twitching. She could feel it. She was tired...close to exhaustion: physical, mental, emotional. She didn't need this right now! Reaching out, she was just wrapping her hand around the handle to pull it out of the wall, when she saw both of his arms come into her peripheral vision. His knee on the bed behind her, his arms enclosing her between himself and the wall, he said in that carefree voice she hated so much, "The Hokage said we're to train. Now. Get up, Sakura."

Jerking the kunia from the plaster, she allowed her elbow to follow through. If he had been almost any other person, it would have connected and left him with at least two broken ribs. However, seeing that it was _Kakashi_, such a thought was wishful thinking. He simply moved slightly out of the way, and then proceeded to press his chest into her back, putting her just off balance enough so that she had to brace herself with one hand against the wall to keep from hitting it with her face.

"Why?" Sakura demanded, blowing her hair out of face and turning her neck enough so that she could glare up at him in exasperation. "And why are you going along with this? Or did she tell you to train with me earlier and you're _late_?" She spat that last bit out at him, her eyes narrowing dangerously.

All he said was, "Now, Sakura. Go change and let's go."

"No," was her succinct response. "You're not my sensei anymore, Kakashi. You're not my squad leader now, either. Last mission finished that. I'm a jounin, just like you, and I'm telling you to GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" Her voice rose as she made these statements, until she was nearly shrieking when she finished.

He winced as she yelled almost directly into his ear, but all he did was shake his head, wrap both arms around her middle, and take them both straight to the training grounds. Landing on his feet, he allowed her to shove away from him with a growl of anger which would have done a mother tiger proud. She stopped about three feet away with her back to him, head bowed.

"I gave you the choice to come willingly, Sakura. You didn't take it. Now it's your own fault that you're going to have to train barefoot, and in _that_." He gestured to her pajamas, which was made up of a simple black tank top and matching yoga pants. "I am sorry...but orders are orders."

"Kakashi..."her voice was soft and he thought for a minute she was going to start crying in sheer exasperation. However, he was quickly proved wrong when she turned her head just enough so he could see her mouth and one of her green eyes. Not crying, then...pissed. Very, very pissed. "I'm going to kill you..." And then, she was gone.

* * *

He had never once seen her move that fast. Which is probably one reason his reaction was almost too slow to prevent her leg from coming into contact with his neck. Landing, she spun and was gone _again_. Quickly pulling his forehead protector out of the way, his sharingan barely helped him get out of the way of a charging, pink haired missile. It hissed at him as it passed.

"Fine. If you can use that...I can use _this_," and with that, a fist drove itself a foot into the ground, shooting up chunks of earth in multiple different directions. Jumping from one rising area to the next, Kakashi kept his sharingan locked on the deadly little kuniochi. She didn't bother chasing him, however, knowing after years of training that it wouldn't do her any good.

And so, she retreated into the dark forest which was behind her, the black clothing allowing her blend into the shadows. Keeping out of the moonlight would be necessary, though, seeing that her arms and hair would stand out so prominently in it. Hiding, she waited. He wouldn't let her go for long...not if he was supposed to be training with her. This wasn't the bell test anymore, after all. She wasn't trying to get something from him. He was the one with a mission...not her. And so, she waited.

* * *

When he'd first met Sakura, he hadn't known what to make of her. While she was very intellectually smart, she was one of the lowest students when it came to actual fighting ability. She had possessed no special ninjutsu...only her analytical mind had opened the door for her. And then there was her crush...it had honestly exasperated him. In many ways, she was much like Rin, but in other ways, she was unlike anyone else he had ever known. Even Tsunade-sama, who had a legendary temper, had said that the first thing Sakura had learned when studying under her was control of her own vibrant emotions. "No use teaching someone how to control chakra the way I do if they're just going to destroy everything around them when someone gets annoying." He could see her point. Sakura had not been very powerful as a genin, so her temper had only ever caused her embarrassment. However, now that he was seeing what Tsunade-sama's training had actually enabled her to do, he was floored. She not only controlled her anger, she channeled it, using it to boost her chakra and speed, much like Naruto did.

Standing there, he watched her fade back into the forest. She knew as well as him that she posed no threat in the open, where his sharingan could easily track every move she made. Granted, the woods weren't really going to help her much either, but all she needed was the element of surprise. Something coming at him in his blind spot...Quick and simple. Rolling his shoulders, he admonished himself silently for not noticing the potential that the Hokage had seen in her. When the woman had spoken to him earlier that evening, she'd specifically said, "She's used to controlling the things in her life, if at all possible. It's part of her defense mechanism. I didn't ask her to be my apprentice; she approached me after Naruto left to train with Jiraiya. You will, more than likely, have to take her choice away from her. Do what you have to, but get her out to the training grounds. And then you work her until she's so exhausted, so exasperated, that she can't hold it all in anymore. She needs someone to fight with, Kakashi. Someone she can hate for a little while. She probably doesn't realize it, but one of the reasons she hasn't cried yet over the Uchiha is because she's still angry at herself for allowing it to happen. She learned how to control her emotions too well...You need to give her a target for that rage, and then _force it_ to come out. Honestly, I'm expecting to see at least you in the hospital tomorrow. If you can get her in here too, as a patient this time, I won't blame you." She'd smirked up at him, and he'd smiled in response. They both knew someone was going to end up injured...Kakashi just hoped it would only be physical wounding that took place. He didn't want to ruin what little friendship he and his former student and teammate had once possessed.

Giving both of them a minute, he followed her into the shadows, intent on doing just what the Hokage had ordered him. He would find some way to get her to release all that anger, even if that meant allowing her to get a few punches in. Although it would probably drive her even more insane if he simply kept blocking all the punches she threw at him. He reminded himself, though, as he balanced silently on a tree limb, she wasn't sixteen anymore...and she'd almost landed a punch or two then. If her chakra control and speed had grown as much as her medical jutsu...he would probably be debriefing Tsunade-sama from a small, white room in the morning.

After an hour of playing cat and mouse and only managing to catch sight of her once, Kakashi sat on a branch and ran through a few possible scenarios in his mind. If he kept this up, he ran the risk of failing at getting her to explode. She was much harder to find...and that was proving to be an added disadvantage. Also, the one time he _had_ seen her, he had probably only been looking at a clone. Rubbing his face through his mask, he decided that he needed some way to draw her out. If this went on much longer, he ran the risk of losing her completely.

Jumping lightly down to the ground, he stood in the open and said loudly, "Running away, Sakura? Sad really...Your tenacity was always one of the few things you excelled at. Even Sasuke admitted that. You were like a little bull dog, but now you've turned tail and run. Hiding doesn't suit someone with your fighting style. Pity, really...I thought Tsunade-sama had taught you better than that."

The only thing he heard in response to his mocking speech were natural night sounds. His sharingan open and staring, he waited. Surely her temper wasn't _that_ controlled...Someone with as much passion in them as Sakura possessed would never be able to eliminate it, or even mask it, that completely. Thirty seconds passed. A minute. Five minutes. He had just been about to sigh and try again when his sharingan warned him of an incoming attack. He knew she didn't have any weapons on her, other than the one kunai, so it was probably her in person. Using a replacement technique, he landed silently on a nearby limb and watched as the young woman tackled the thing he'd left behind. However, just as the poof of his jutsu ending came, so did hers. That was when he felt two arms wrap around his neck and two legs tighten with a vise-like insistence around his waist, locking his arms against his body.

Her voice growled softly, filled with a channeled anger he still found strange in her, "How. Dare. You."

His ability to breathe rapidly decreasing as her arms tightened, he managed to say, "About time you fought back."

"Oh, Kakashi," she purred quietly into his ear, causing him to flinch as the air skittered across his cheek. "If I was actually _fighting_ you...I'd already be home in bed." Keeping one arm locked in its death grip around his neck, she used the other to stroke down the side of his mask covered cheek. "All it would take, you see...is one touch. Tsunade-sama has forbidden me to use this technique, except in certain circumstances. Do you know what I can do to you with this finger?" Her voice was still soft, but now it was less menacing. She sounded a bit like a salesman, begging you to ask what his special product could do for you. Her mouth now touching his ear, she whispered, "I could make your heart stop beating...I could make your lungs collapse...I could make you completely blind...or deaf...or _dumb_." Pulling her mouth back a little, she added, "You were the first one to see how much potential my chakra control had...but I don't think even _you_ could have foreseen _how_ good it really was."

Pushing them both backward off the branch, Kakashi waited for her to release him as they fell. She didn't. Instead, she chuckled and jerked just slightly to the side. His heavier weight was quickly pulled to the bottom and he landed face first. Honestly not having expected her to call his bluff like that, he lay there, a bit stunned, trying to get the wind back into his lungs. He vaguely felt her shift on top of him, but it wasn't until she had his wrists locked in the middle of his back that he realized just how much he had underestimated his former student. She'd finally learned how to use an opponents weaknesses against them. And one of his weaknesses towards her was that he still saw _her_ as weak, at least in comparison to most of the others.

She leaned forward, her stomach pressing into his captive hands as she chuckled softly down at him. His head was turned to the side so that his sharingan was pressed into the ground and his gray eye was staring up at her. With his hands locked as they were, he couldn't form seals, but he found himself unable to keep his fingers still. The pressure of her against them was doing strange things to his brain. Never once had he seen Sakura as anything other than a student and then a teammate. Now, however, he was reminded of what she'd said back in her bedroom: "You're not my sensei anymore, Kakashi. You're not my squad leader now, either. Last mission finished that. I'm a jounin, just like you..."

Using her free hand, Sakura grabbed some of his hair and pulled lightly, "Drifting, are we? That isn't like you, Kakashi..."

Finally managing to get enough air back into his lungs, he took a deep breath and then attempted to roll them over so that she would loosen her hold on his hands. Nothing happened. Well, she chuckled, but other than that, nothing happened.

"I am actually very tired, Kakashi...So if you don't mind, I think we can wrap this 'training' session up. I do have work tomorrow, after all." So saying, her weight disappeared from his back.

Taking a deep breath, he hurried after her and managed to tackle her just as she reached the edge of the forest. Her squeak of surprise turned quickly into a growl of anger when she realized what he'd done. Now _she_ was lying face down in the dirt, her once-clean hair full of leaves. "Kakashi, what is wrong with you?" she demanded as he kept her wrists locked in one large hand.

"Nothing at all, Sakura. We haven't finished training, yet. And you turned your back on your enemy...You've gotten sloppy, and that will get you killed." He could feel her building chakra up in her arms, and he quickly let go and leaped backwards to avoid it.

Pushing herself onto her hands and knees, she took a few deep breaths, obviously attempting to maintain her control. Not about to allow that, Kakashi darted back in, this time catching her in the stomach with his foot and sending her into the air. She grabbed onto a tree branch and stared in shock at him. Dropping back to the ground, she kept staring at him, emerald eyes wide in her pale face as she got closer.

As she pulled back her chakra charged fist, he darted forward again and swept her feet out from under her. She lay on her back, breathing becoming slightly more erratic as she watched him. Standing once more, she took the single kunai she had with her and went for him with as much speed as she could.

He knew she knew it was useless to try that on him, but he was just glad that she was beginning to show a bit of recklessness in her attacks. Maybe she was getting closer to the end of her tether. Easily dodging her, he decided to taunt her a bit more, "Come on, Sakura. You're so proud of being a jounin, but I'm starting to doubt if you really deserve to be called one. Come on...hit me." Now, this wasn't something he generally did while fighting, period. It rarely helped, and only took his concentration away from where it should have been. But, seeing that his goal was to make her explode, he decided it couldn't hurt.

And he was right. The more he said, questioning her skills and abilities, the angrier she got. In her eyes, he could see a small hint of the flame which had once burned there so brightly. The passion was still there, simply buried under years of habit and training.

"You always were the weakest one, Sakura...We all knew it." He winced inwardly as he said it, knowing he had just punched an old wound. Her reaction proved that it was still in the process of healing.

She froze as she took another swing at him, and he used her momentary lack of concentration as the chance to kick her backwards into a tree. She slid down the trunk until she was sitting in a crumpled heap on the ground. She was eerily still...And then she was gone again, and this time, he didn't see her as she struck him from the side. Her fist connected with his bottom rib and he _felt_ it break. Her chakra was finely controlled now, like a precision instrument. As he attempted to retaliate, another hit came from his other side, where two more ribs broke. And then he was on his back, her face inches from his as she growled, "I wasn't _weak_! I was _different_! I had abilities that none of you ever appreciated!" She grabbed the front of his vest with both hands and shook him. "You _never_ cared about training me! All you could see were Naruto and Sasuke." Her voice was still harsh, but he could hear something beneath it now, and he could smell the tang of salt.

Managing to crack his eyes open through the pain he was feeling from his rib cage, he saw that her eyes were indeed a bit misty. But she hadn't cracked...not yet. So he opened his mouth and spat out, "You weren't worthy of anyone's attention, Sakura. You were just a little girl with a crush who had to be protected on every mission."

Her eyes, which had been narrowed to slits, now shot wide. The tears welled, but stubbornly refused to slide down her cheeks. Her hands, which had been locked in a death grip in the front of his vest, loosened.

"You were nothing but dead weight, and I was a bit sorry they'd put you in my group." The words were cruel, but he said them with a purpose in mind. She needed to shatter. If she didn't do it soon, she wouldn't do it at all. And then, one day, she'd break into pieces so small, no one would ever be able to put them all back together again. However, even though he knew this, a portion of himself wanted to beg forgiveness for saying them, to tell her it wasn't true...not really. But he couldn't do that. The Hokage was right. If she needed someone to hate, then it could be him. He could handle that, and it was painful to know that she wouldn't grieve...

Her face was now devoid of emotion. She was retreating. Growling aloud in real frustration, Kakashi reached up, grabbed both of her upper arms, and flipped them around so that she was pressed into the ground beneath him. Slamming one hand down next her head, he grabbed her chin with the other and demanded, his voiced laced with anger, "Do you honestly think you deserve to be trained by the Hokage herself?"

No response came from the prone form of the young woman.

He tried again, his anger growing as he tried to keep her from building a wall around herself, "Or that you have the right to take care of those who are injured protecting this village?"

Still no response. He hadn't found the right button...and he needed to desperately. Another few seconds and she would be gone, locked away inside herself.

"You loved Sasuke so much, didn't you? And yet, in the end, your love wasn't enough!" The words came out of nowhere, and he would have taken them back if he could. Even in the present situation, they were inappropriate and hurtful. However, it did what he wanted. Her breathing went ragged, a sob tore up her throat, and tears began pouring down her cheeks.

Head bowed, he moved a few feet away from her. He felt lower than the dirt he was standing on. _I was just following orders_, he reminded himself. _She needed to let it out_. The sounds of her sobs broke the silence of the forest, making his heart ache in chest. Rubbing his hand over it a time or two, he glanced back at her. He had to leave, he knew that. If he stayed, he would say something...he would feel _compelled _to say something. And so, he left.

* * *

Sakura kept hearing his voice...the words she'd said to herself so many times, only this time they had come from someone else. She had been the weak one...the screw up...the little girl playing at being a ninja. She knew all of those things. She could hide herself form those words...but not the final barrage. Those words cut through her like a knife. She had failed. Her love hadn't been enough. Her friendship hadn't been enough. _She _hadn't been enough. He had died, at her feet, and she had let him go...

The tears she'd fought against for weeks finally came. Truthfully, they were tears she'd refused to cry for several years. She had wanted to be strong, like her friends. Tears made you weak. Weakness was bad. Now, there she was, crying over something she'd promised herself she'd never shed another tear for.

The sobs, when they came, seemed to pull her very soul into her throat. It was as though she were ripping off pieces of herself and discarding them as she cried. Finally, she rolled over until she could press herself, face first, into the ground. She lay like that for over an hour, the tears soaking into the leaf litter beneath her. And then, as the sobs became breathy whimpers, she whispered, "I'm so sorry, Sasuke...Please forgive me."

Exhausted, she didn't even realize that she was falling asleep, there in the forest. But her eyes slid closed and her breathing, a hiccup sneaking in every once in awhile, evened out, until, finally, she drifted off.

* * *

Sakura was making her rounds, close to the end of her first shift, when the familiar voice of the Hokage spoke from behind her. Turning, she smiled tiredly as the older woman said, "How are you feeling?"

"A little tired," was Sakura's honest answer, although 'exhausted' was perhaps the correct term.

"Go ahead and head home," she was told, a hard stare telling her not to argue. "You can't do much good if you're falling asleep on your feet."

Even though Tsunade was her master, that didn't mean Sakura was completely in awe of the woman. "Well, if it wasn't for that little 'training' _thing_ I had to deal with last night, I wouldn't be this tired."

"Oh," was the only response she got. "How did it go?"

Sakura just looked at the woman before turning and walking away.

"Go home, Sakura," came the command from behind her. "That's an order."

* * *

Slamming her door closed, Sakura kicked her shoes off and threw her bag onto the couch as she swept angrily into the kitchen. "Waste of my time and energy!" she barked, as she jerked the refrigerator door open and grabbed a bag of carrot sticks.

And, now that work wasn't claiming her attention, she was also going over, again, what had happened the night before. More specifically, the things Kakashi had said. Anger was a mild word for what she was beginning to feel towards the man whom she had once looked up to...

Her mumbled rant was cut off, however, when a knock came from her front door. Glaring as she recognized the chakra, she pounded her way to it and pulled it open so hard she was actually surprised the handle didn't break off.

There, his eye not meeting hers, stood Kakashi.

"What?" she demanded. "Have something else you want to say?"

He took a deep breath and then said, quietly, "Can I come in, Sakura?"

"No," she said, closing the door in his face.

Walking back into the kitchen, she took her bag of carrot sticks into her bedroom, curling up under the quilt as she munched on them. Tears were threatening again, which was why she hadn't wanted to cry in the first place! They came so easily once you got started.

She had just sniffled when she heard a sigh.

Howling in anger and pain, she launched herself off the bed and slammed herself into Kakashi with as much force as she could without calling on her chakra. His back met the wall with a loud _bang_ and they slid to the floor in a heap.

"I'm so sorry, Sakura-chan," he said, his voice deepening as he continued, "I should never have said those things, and the only excuse I have is that you needed to let it all go. I was just trying to help you."

"Help me?!" she screeched, her face only inches from his as she knelt between his legs. Her hands were once again fisted in the front of his vest. "You tried to 'help me' by telling me how weak my abilities are and what a terrible person I am?"

"You needed to grieve, Sakura...You hadn't, and it was only going to hurt you in the end." He still refused to meet her eye.

"How dare you!" She exclaimed, her eyes shrinking to slits as she shook him once. "I fail to see what right _you_ or _anyone else_ has to dictate how I do_ anything_!"

"I'm your friend, Sakura..." he began, finally allowing his gray eye to meet her green ones. "Friends don't allow friends to hurt themselves like that."

"But friends will tell each other that it was their fault another friend died?" her words made him visibly wince.

"As I said, I'm sorry for saying those things...I should never have resorted to that. It wasn't worthy of our friendship." His voice was softer now.

"What friendship, Kakashi?" Now it was her turn to sound sad as she released his vest, allowing her hands to fall into her lap. "We barely know each other. You were too busy making sure Naruto and Sasuke didn't kill each other, and I was too busy trying to make Sasuke love me for us to be friends. You were my teacher...and then you were my squad leader...and now you aren't really anything." Feeling years older than she was, she moved to stand up, only to find her arms caught in the hard grip of his hands.

He pulled her closer, so that she could see the darker gray flecks in his good eye. "I wouldn't have done what I did last night for just anyone, Sakura. If I didn't consider you a friend, I would have let someone else make you cry. But you _are _my friend. So it was my job, and I did it willingly. It's alright if you hate me, but don't invalidate what I put us both through last night for the sake of your pride." His voice was hard, although not mean.

Sakura blinked at him a few times, not sure how to handle this more earnest side of the man who had always seemed so carefree about everything. His forcefulness she'd seen on a few occasions, but the complete lack of humor in his manner was completely baffling.

Sighing, he released her arms, drawing his legs up so that he could rest his elbows on his knees. Closing his eye, he allowed his head to fall forward.

Sakura, who was still sitting between his now drawn-up legs, didn't know what to say...or do. He'd had a point about how unhealthy her actions had been; she'd been telling herself the exact same thing for almost four weeks. To have her choice taken away, though, was what truly bothered her. It was as though her decision didn't matter.

_But_, came a voice from inside_, what if you had seen one of your friends doing the same thing? What would you have been willing to do in order to keep them from hurting themselves?_

Sighing softly herself, she ran a hand through her hair and said quietly, "I'm sorry, Kakashi..."

His head came up and his eye was confused. "What?" he asked.

"I'm sorry," she said again, this time being the one to avoid eye contact. "I should never have made any of you worried enough to have to do something like you did. Mind, I don't like the path you took, but I think I can understand why you felt the need to do something." Moving backwards, she started to stand up, but then stopped. She was recalling the things she'd learned over the past few years about the man she'd once called teacher. His own genin group had been torn apart by pain and suffering...and then his teacher had died protecting the village...Suddenly feeling very childish, she sat back down and turned towards him.

Her movements obviously confused him even more, for he was watching her with concern. "Sakura?" he asked.

Giving him a soft, and tearful, smile, she leaned closer to him and kissed his cheek, feeling the smooth fabric of his mask under her lips. Pulling back a little, she met his shocked eye and said, "Thank you, Kakashi...I'm sorry I put you through that."

While the kiss shocked him, the words would have knocked him over if he hadn't been sitting against the wall. A tear slipped down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away. As she moved to stand up, his hand shot out, grabbed her arm again and pulled her into his chest. Mask still in place, he brought his mouth to hers.

Her squeak of surprise turned into something resembling a moan however, as their lips sought each other through the fabric. His need to feel her skin under his grew great enough that his hand actually reached for the edge of his mask. Her hand stopped him, though. Understanding, somehow, what she wanted, he allowed her slim fingers to slowly drag the dark material down his face. Her eye stayed on his the entire time. When it passed his lips, he pushed his head forward and snagged her mouth again, this time feeling the shock of bare skin. There was no mistaking the moan that time. But who it came from, he wasn't sure.

He watched as her eyes closed, her arms coming up to lock around his neck. His own hands traveled up her back until they could feel the softness of her hair tickling them.

In that moment...he realized something. The kuniochi in his arms might be young, and she might have a temper that could destroy a forest, but her heart beat to the rhythm of _love_, _friends_, and _hope_. Nothing life had thrown at it had managed to destroy that; and now, he desperately wanted to keep it that way. She was mature, in many ways beyond her years, and yet there was still the ability inside her to forgive and understand...She was stronger than anyone knew. _She will keep growing stronger_, he thought to himself as he deepened the kis_s. Only death can stop her now._

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